Updated: Apr 8, 2021
Christopher is a musician, playing in a classical orchestra. For those who don’t know, a classical orchestra consists of strings (first and second violins, violas, violoncellos, double basses, etc.), and brass, and percussion. The most senior (best) player in each section would belong to the first section in the orchestra. First violin, first bass, first flut, first trumpet, etc. First players would normally also be the chosen one’s in case of a solo part in a musical piece.
Christoper played the trombone. He did not belong to the first trombones in his main orchestra, however in some smaller setups, he did and also performed as a soloist. Christopher described himself, and I could notice, as a very sensitive musician. His emotions played a big part in how he translated a piece of music to his instrument.
We started speaking about his hopes and dreams. He shared with me that he felt that he could be part of the first trombones in his main orchestra. He wanted to perform as a soloist on the big stage. Technically he played on the same level as the current soloist, however he felt that him being himself was in the way. I asked him what he meant by that.
He continued telling me about the person who played first trombone at the moment. He described him as an outstanding musician, however also dominant in his character and with a strong personality. Christoper felt that he needed to adopt these character traits in order to become first trombone player. More importantly for my work and our cooperation, Christoper felt that with his present character and personality, he would be unable to move into the position of soloist. When practising a piece with the orchestra, Chrisopher would have excellent ideas how to improve the performance of individual musicians or the orchestra as a whole. However instead of voicing his opinion out openly, he shared them with other more senior players, who then in turn shared his advice and received the credit for it. This frustrated Christopher.
This is where my role as a coach comes in.
As long as Christopher thinks and believes that with his present character and personality he will be unable to be first and soloist, the chances that he will ever become first are very slim. As long as we think of ourselves in an inferior way, we will probably end exactly where we think we belong. In Christophers' case, being a second trombone. When we believe ourselves inferior, we will act accordingly. The world around us will notice. We will speak, we will behave, we will be the person who we think we are.
So, Christopher had two options.
Either continue to attempt what he believes he needs to do. Become like the current senior player. Become dominant, become a very strong personality. Basically change himself to fit, to be like another person.
Or, start believing that being himself, being who he is, the amazing musician, is good enough if not even better to be soloist and first trombone. Let go of any beliefs that he needs to become like the current soloist. Adopt a belief system that by being himself, he will be at least equal if not five or ten times outperforming the current first trombone. By adopting such a belief he will start to act accordingly. His voice, his body language, his appearance, will no longer mirror somebody who believes he’s only able to be a second by being himself. He will radiate the confidence necessary to be first by simply being himself.
How can we achieve such a change in our beliefs?
With Christoper it was easy. Christopher knew it all along, however because of some incident a few years ago, he started doubting himself. We managed to discuss that incident and after a couple of sessions Christopher felt a strong relief, let go of any self doubts, and found back to his true inner strength and belief in himself.
How else can we change our self doubts, our self image? Now a lot of it depends on how ingrained your beliefs and the portrait you have created of yourself are. There are many techniques available, and depending on your current situation, I will adapt. In my three month coaching program I look at your beliefs and what kind of thoughts and emotions currently dominate your state of mind. Then we will work on your self confidence and your faith (nothing religious):
A mind dominated by positive emotions becomes a favorable site for the state of mind known as faith. When faith is blended by thought, the subconscious mind instantly picks up the vibration, translates it into its spiritual equivalent, and transmits it to infinite intelligence.
A lack of self-confidence may be the biggest obstacle to maintaining faith in yourself. This handicap can be overcome and timidity translated into courage through the use of positive thoughts stated in writing, memorized and repeated until they become part of your subconscious mind.
(Napoleon Hill in his book “Think and Grow Rich”).
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